We all really need to watch “American History X”. As I watch (and partake in) political discussions and arguments going back and forth between people, who for all intents and purposes view each other as enemies with whom to do battle and score points, that movie keeps coming to mind.

We have a lot of problems and issues in our country that are continually sparking debate. While there are important issues to address, the one I’m most concerned with is the way we are so divided over these issues. So many of us see the other side as the enemy, with obviously nefarious motives. We don’t even actually listen to what each other are saying, we attack and call each other names as soon as someone questions or challenges our point of view. Its as if politics is not about changing minds and winning people over, but about winning period, at any cost.

This is the problem. We no longer assume the best in people, we automatically assume the worst. There have always been very divisive issue, such as abortion,  that elicit an emotional response from the people on both sides. These emotional and often vitriolic responses are now attached to nearly every single issue. Take mass shootings for example, what ever side of the debate you fall on, the other side sees you as some type of evil person, that is driven by some selfish motive. In reality, most people want the same thing, to find a way to stop these things. However, we get into fights not about the common goal, which is all but lost in these discussions, but about the means and the projected motive behind them. Even when it comes to abortion, how can you fault someone for having compassion for the woman. How can you fault someone for caring about the unborn child? So many people fail to consider that, because it doesn’t suit their narrative. Instead, they project motives onto each other and attack those. We want to win these arguments, and shame our opponents and in the meantime get likes and retweets.

The problem with this is that these arguments are no longer about the actual issue, they become about defending our honor. Many times from politicians, political pundits, friends, relatives, etc. we hear “This person wants to do X because of Y” and we believe it. Articles, videos and posts get shared and retweeted ad nauseam.  Instead of going to the source for their reasons behind their beliefs and ideas, we get our information second hand. And then even when we do hear it from the source, we don’t believe it because we have already made up our minds on what their motives really are. Now, when we should be debating the merits of an idea, we are debating the motive behind it and how does one convince another of their true motives? They either do or they do not. Again, since there is so much weight in being right and the accolades that brings, its much more common to try to discredit others and beat them into the ground rather than accept them at their word and assume the best intentions.

Its this type of thinking that will ensure that the issues we face as a nation, will never be solved. And we better believe that there are people out there who will benefit from keeping us divided and making sure these issues stay in place. These are the people we need to stop listening to. We need to stop trying to beat down those who disagree with us and listen to them and implore them to listen to you. Like it or not, we need diversity of thought, no matter how repugnant it may seem in some cases. If we were to all think the same way, if we were all “liberal” or all “conservative” this country probably wouldn’t exist today. Our goal needs to be to change minds, rather than win arguments, or at the very least try to show the value of our ideas without beating each other over the head with them. Even some people we may view as the very worst humanity has to offer, can be affected by a positive approach and can be changed for the better. This is where American History X comes in.

The movie is about a man, Derek, who is a neo-Nazi that goes to prison for brutally murdering three black men who were attempting to steal his car. Long story short , while working at his job doing laundry in the prison, he meets a black man and has his whole worldview turned upside down. This is not accomplished by the black man belittling him, or attacking who he is, but simply by the man being a decent person. He’s funny and charming and doesn’t seem to care about who Derek used to be. This man along with the black principle from his brother’s school, who visits and sends Derek books to read, change Derek’s mind about what he used to think about people of color.

What makes this special, is that its based on a true story. What makes it important now is that by not beating each other up over ideas, and simply being the best examples of our own beliefs and ideas, we can at least learn to accept that others might have a different view, but that doesn’t necessarily make them the enemy.

We need to have discussions and debates in order to make our country the best place it can be. We need to think differently and we need to express our thoughts, no matter how uncomfortable they may be to someone else. If we seriously want to work towards fixing all the issues that plague us, we need to talk and we need to listen. We have to be willing to take each other at our word. If someones telling you John Doe thinks a certain way, its probably a good idea to go and see what John Doe actually has to say and make up your own mind. If you’re 100% sure your views and beliefs are the right ones, you might want to take a step back and remember, even Hitler and the Nazi’s thought they were the good guys.

Stop trying to win. Be kind, stick to your priciples and just be a good person and people will take notice. Hold your side accountable. Hold those people you choose to represent you accountable.