Yesterday afternoon my six year old daughter called me out for what she thought was stealing in Far Cry 4. I went into a house in one of the opening areas of the game, walked up to a crate and proceeded to pick out a pistol and while I did pay for it, she didn’t realize it. It was kind of a strange setup for sure, I had just previously walked into a shop of sorts where there was an NPC (non-playable character) to interact with, but this just looked like a crate inside someone’s house and there was no one home. As soon as I was finished she cried out “Dad! You just stole that gun from that house!”

I told her I didn’t “steal” it, since it actually cost me in game currency to take it, but I could understand why she thought that and I was proud of her for understanding that stealing, even in a game is wrong.

While Far Cry 4 has made it possible for us to have this exchange, many people might think she shouldn’t have been watching me play in the first place. I would have to agree with them for the most part, though in my defense I wasn’t really doing anything. I was just kind of checking out the town and driving around on an ATV. I wouldn’t actually play any of the missions or engage in dialog with certain NPCs, due mostly to the language and more adult themes in the game. Not so much because of the violence.

This might seem strange, but unless its completely over the top and graphically gory (which is relative, I know), my wife and I are not overly worried about our kids seeing violence on TV and in games. My kids have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the first two Hobbit movies countless times. They seem ok afterwards and we talk about what happened and why. They also watched me play Shadow of Mordor and there IS quite a lot blood in that game, but it’s mostly black, oily looking Uruk blood. Once when my character took the head off an uruk, my daughter was watching and said “Gross!, you just cut that Orcs head off!” I paused the game and said “Yeah… you probably shouldn’t have seen that. Does it bother you at all?” She said “No, it’s just a game and Orcs are not real.”

Not only this, but Dark Souls is kind of a big deal around our house. I have spent many hours making my way through those games with my kids right next to me using the beautiful, hardcover guide trying to look up monsters that will be in the area I’m currently in. While its not a very bloody game (most monsters just disappear into dust when defeated), there’s still some scary imagery and lots of fighting. But my kids LOVE it. So much so, that I have to make them swords out of foam so they can act it out in the yard. My oldest daughter once had to draw a picture of what she did over the weekend, and of course she drew a picture of Dark Souls. The teacher may have been slightly disturbed, but I’m not going to deny the pride I felt.

My daughter being worried about stealing in a game, but not killing is what made me start to think. Is it ok for them to be seeing this stuff? I totally understand why a parent wouldn’t want their kid seeing some of these games, but I just haven’t seen any harm in it. I think the reason that she was upset by the perceived theft is because it’s not something she sees all the time, but killing enemies in a game is commonplace. Whether its by guns or stomping on walking mushrooms, usually there’s some sort of violence in games. Violence is a means to an end in a game. Sometimes the only way to progress. That’s understood in our house. But stealing? No way!

I’m not sure if I’m looking for an answer or someone validating my actions in any way. I do know however, that my kids seem pretty well adjusted. They wont touch real knifes (including butter) because they think they will get cut. They are kind and loving and besides a few pushes, some slaps here and there and hair pulling, are not in any way disturbingly violent towards each other or anyone else. I know a lot is made of violence and what kids should be subjected to, but I think it depends on the kid. The only thing I can do is make sure I’m involved in their gaming and consumption of media and discuss with them what they are seeing. It does make me think a bit though. My 6 year old daughter honestly wouldn’t know a swear word if she heard one. She once freaked out because I forgot to delete a song off of her ipod I had told her had a swear word in it,  but she’s totally cool with me beheading an orc.

(image credits http://thecoinslot.thefwoosh.com/2013/04/top-5-ways-to-die-in-dark-souls )